Jan 8, 2020. 10 am
Mai fellow pickuls
you may noe dat recentlee, we has launched a tacktikal pre-emptiv surgikal strike against Mrs Murgatroyd at numbah 42 fur her posting ob leeflets forbiding cats in her street. We tink owr akshuns were proporshinal an muted in responding to her leefleting by diverting a river through her frunt door. Mrs Murgatrod has respondeded bai complayning t da police wunce her fone dried out and she wus able to recovers her dining room table an chairs after dey floated owt ob the house an down da street.
it is not owr posishun to further retaliate altho we beleef we wud be justified in doing so and therefore we will NOT be toppling a tree thru her roof. Dats it fur now. We is grate. So grate. Rilly grate. Yew mai applawd.
(Divert a flud daon heer, pleez! We haz tew ebacyooate agen tonite...)
O noze! Be saif an plz keep us poasted if u kan
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