Jan 6, 2018 7am
Teh mismatched socks am nice touch.
Purrfekt 'boanless' tekneek tew
owr hooman is leeving his bonkers job on Monday. We have written him dis final email. He thinks it may bee 'too much'. Wat do yew tink?
I will be leaving the orbit of Planet (XXXXXX) at lunchtime today for my return trip to Earth.
Although I've only been here for a short time – I have come to think of you all as – well – people I have met.
I want to thank you for your kind assistance and patience. The staff and free bananas were my favourite parts of the job (although not necessarily in that order).
Anyway – my last official task is an Exit meeting this morning. As my final KPI for today from (Manager XXXXXX) is not to be led out of the building in handcuffs - I expect this to be uneventful.
Thanks again and my best wishes to you and your families for 2018.
Sownds gud. Wut's "KPI"? Kick, punch, incite?
Sorry teh job didn't werk owt. Do yoo reelize taht meens yore hyoomin may be hoam with yoo all day looong?
KPI= Key Perfomance Indicator (goal).
we has miggst feelings abowt him being home. He will be going to de gym in de mornings an we has a list of things for hims to do.wen hegets back.
I kinda like Kick Punch Incite.
I hopes Jack'z neggst job am more user frendly.
Aifinks yewr hyooming shood leeve teh manager wif some Actionable Items, such as...
Assist yewr employees in being successful.
Be a leader tu yewr peepolz, nawt a
Corporate ladder climber.
Doo a bedder jawb
Find yer inner manajer
Grab 'em bai deh pussy.
Go f*** urself.
Heads tu Nawty
Just gonna sit here
Kuz I am Nawty.
L. . . .
*sprinklolz cheetoh dust awn cweenmj sittin' in da NB*
Her'm's izza naaaassssty wimminz
*runz in circles*
AIEEEEEE!!!!!! It'z POYSIN!!!!!
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