An eHominy Submission

Boops: 5

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Ohai, my name iz Topper and I like pinny gigs. My hobbeez awr shouting andtumbling. Wen I'm wif my fambily, wii slide and cook tugevver, and wen I'm wif my fwendz, wii like to chomp and eat, espeshully wif my fwendz GM and Roofie. At teh end ob teh day, I go tu a bathtub in Neverland Ranch, lay down, take orf my do-rag, and tuch my tail fevverz weneber I yam melon chollie. I yam lookin' foar uh racoon hoo likes loosly eggs and diapers and  juice oranges and bipedal fossilz, and hoo iz nawt awfrayd to fart and lurch wif mii. If yew awe evolved, plz let mii know by leebing uh cigarette awn da toenail, and I will bii shur tu git bak tu yew.

 dis ohaily accurate profile wus prepared fur Topper bai  Sir NC & deh Flannellettez 

 

pixor bai cweenmj

53 comments

    1. IIs the Neverland bathtub outside? I'm open to farting and lurching in different places and situations. *Presents Topper with a beautifully wrapped ciggie and some toenail clippings* 😕

          1. Hummmph. I seem to be rememering hearing about someone who is teh bestest kisser in the country or maybeh even the whirld...according to TM. Who wants to call the kettlol "hussy" now?

            Ohai, SNC! 😉

            1. Welllllll.... Dat TM amma beet ub a hussy hersalf ... a cougar hussy. Her jest gwabbed mai hed and laid wun awn mee... Wots a gog to doo - I smooched bakk ....

              1. Nd alla tyme shii wuz wishing shii noo ware da majjik wand wuz dat kud tern a phraugue into a prints sew shii kud C iffenz it kud tern a goggie n2 a hoomin!

  1. Ai seend Toppurz pitchur awn eHomineez adn ai lubz himz adn wunting tu maree himz. Butt iff ai cannawt coz he iz bizzy, den ai wunting tu kno if he wil awtygraff himz doo-rag adn sellify it awn eeebil bay adn ai wil bidz ohaiest. Plz du dis oar ai mai haztu stalkify yu coz ai lubz yu....

          1. Cuz udderwyze dey kud conseebablee, U no, CONSEEB, and den dere'd be at leest FREE UVEM!!! OR FOAR! OAR FIBE!!!

            (But really, snc done tole us about the meme thing.)

  2. O mai CC..Ai yam laffin sew har mai undiez am leeking....!!!!

    Yu guize am hystericlol!!!!

    Habbing teh grankidz heer am fun but berry tire ring. "Nana, whut culler wud a moon be if yu wuz libbing awn Marz butt yu wuz cullerblind"??? PURPLE...

    "Nana, we finished ar pancaeks an eggs an baykun an toast...whuts fur lunch an kin we hazza pocksicklol nao an den maybe teh icee kreem trukk mite come bai layder ..????"

        1. Papa SNC, can we watch a moovie?
          Will yew wotch wiv us?
          Can we have a ride awn teh tractor?
          Is it yor turn tu make dinner?
          Can I halp?
          Can we have spaghetti?
          Awr we going to take teh goggies foar a walk tonight?
          Can I take dem by myself?
          Awr yew and Gramma going to sit owtside and wotch satelites go by?
          Awr we going tu sii the ISS tunite?
          If I halp wif teh dishes, can I hab an ice cream?
          Will yew spray whipped creem in my mowf again?
          One of the kittehs barfed awn teh carpet again.
          Did he eet whipped creem?
          I broke my princess wand, can you fix it?
          Have yew seen my box of happy meal toys?
          Can I yooz yor iPad?
          What's teh passwurd foar teh game site again?
          Why is Beaux barking at those dawgz across teh street?
          Can I have sum Kool-Aid?
          I can't reach teh cups.
          Where's Tiki?
          Did she lern turn say any gnu wurds?
          I brought yew a jellyfish frum Santa Barbara.
          We rode on a train.
          Maybe Tiki will say choo choo.
          My cousin won't stahp crying.
          Is he sad?
          I think he's tired frum teh trip.
          Why awr yew crying? Awr yew tired?

          Ah ha! Yew checked awl da profiles! Good for you.

    1. *trin to figger out how undies wood leek...* yoo wares wadder filled undies GM? Am dat a granny fing? Doo yoo fills dem wiffy warm or cold wadderz?

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